When I think of Pete I always think of his eyes. Their colour especially. The first time we met it was his eyes I noticed first. I was struck by their colour and somehow they had a depth that made me want to stare for hours. Their deep glowing hazel burned with all the colours of the earth.
I’d recognise those eyes anywhere.
And what’s behind them. I think of that too, his mind. His faultless memory with more capacity than anything man could build. Layer upon layer of white matter, bursting but never full. Like an engineer wanting to take something apart to see how it works, I wanted to open his skull from the back and deconstruct each part of his mind and look at it under a microscope, seeking to untangle and make sense of the parts of him that he never shared.
What’s going on in there, Pete? It’s the question I’ve asked the most, both to himself nod myself. In relationships we want to know everything about each other, inside and out, but we all need some mystery to prevent the inevitable state of perpetual boredom that engulfs us in the end.
What’s going on in there? What are you feeling? Do you feel?
Show me that you feel something.